Here we go again--again -about age and health and death. My God Mother, the precious Tibbie (Ethel Mae Bolton) Weller died at home on Saturday surrounded by her family--children, grandchildren and misc others who were always in her life. My 2 older sisters and I went to see her in the hospital about 2 weeks ago--she'd had a stroke a few days before--she couldn't really talk but she did know who we were--she cried a little and said 'God Bless You' several times...In my mind Tibbie was only in her early 50s--how did she get to be 80+. She was quite a character, an antique dealer, a decorator, would take a drink, laughed and made you laugh..A very successful son my age, a daughter who lives nearby and the middle child, a son, the one who took the most care of her and was best at 'handling' her...

We go to the funeral tomorrow, we --being my next older sister Jill, Tony and I. I look forward to talking about Tibbie and her influence on us all. Her children and grandchildren will have tales to tell...I love the predictability of the Episcopal Burial Service...it is a comfort to me...and it is a celebration of the life of a beloved person.
St Paul's, Magnolia Springs is a lovely little church, with a Magnolia Cross made for a wedding 100 years ago--magnolia leaves do not disintegrate--

I remember when I took Anthony by Tibbie's on the way home from his week at Camp Beckwith when he was about 10 or 11. He decided that since she didn't have a net or anything to catch a fish --which he could see in the beautiful and clear Magnolia River--he would try a tan plastic grocery bag(yes, it was probably a Delchamps bag). It kept him busy although he never caught a fish--but Tibbie and I got a chance to talk.
And once when we went to a engagement shower for one of her grandsons--and Anthony took his date Elizabeth and when we took her over to Tibbie to introduce...Tibbie spoke to both Anthony and E and then said 'aren't you the cutest thing'--E said 'thank you' and Tibbie said 'oh, i was speaking to Anthony'....I really loved that...

What is your biggest loss?--
is it the death of a loved one?
a betrayal?
a lost opportunity?
a bad decision?
Can you think about this and delve deep in yourself and think and feel and answer this question for yourself???

I think for me it is the betrayal by my brother when my mother died...he swooped in, took the money that should have gone to the estate and waltzed out of town (as they say, it's complicated). No, he never came when Mother was sick and dying, no he never admitted that he would trade his 'birth family' for money, yes, he did tell Mother's attorney that he had 'trust' issues...after the 'shit' hit the fan I think I had trust issues....,I know I had 'pissed off'' issues.
My mother's cleaning person, Crazy Donna, said that she wouldn't want to be Mr Jay when he runs in to "Miss Aline"....I was thinking he would probably be on his way to hell....and she could only have her say in passing. But have her say or not--

I hope it is obvious that although I haven't forgotten what Jay did ----I have moved on--I don't get a knot in my stomach, I don't get mad and feel hot and weird--No, I just feel sad and think about the good life I have here and now--and none of it depends on the money I would have gotten, or a relationship I once thought I had with my brother...or the loss of the person I thought my brother was....

Thank you God for my life...and the peace of mind ... it didn't happen overnight...it took time (my Mother died on Easter Sunday, April 11, 2004). I can't tell you when it happend--but it did happen --for that I am thankful. Maybe that's why my friendships with '60 yr olds' is so meaningful to me...is it meaningful to you and why?

Young People Today...

I often hear people talk about 'young people today' which made me think about the difference in the lives of these people and our lives....

Men/Boys who graduated from high school in 1968 were thinking they might need to go to college to keep from being drafted in to the Army. Some people joined the military. And believe it or not--- some people chose to get married when they graduated from high school or in the next few years...that seems so young now-doesn't it!
I personally was thinking about going to the U of A and enjoying myself....lasted a year-flunked out--went back to U of A in June of '71 and graduated in '74 What were you thinking when you graduated from high school?

It just seems that a lot of kids now take more time to get situated...work their first 'real' jobs and all that stuff. When we were getting 'situated' we had to have a down payment for a house--now you can borrow a down payment when you buy the house...(sometimes). We didn't worry so much about the car we drove--and I know that insurance was a lot cheaper...

Yes, times have changed--life is a lot more stressful...How can we decrease our stress levels?

• What good does worry do?
• What good does it do to criticize the government whenever the chance arises? Am I the only Pollyanna and that wants to work to be positive??? What good does the worry do???
• We are lucky..most of us have the love of our families, our friends, enough $$ to do what we need to do....
• Remind me again--- what good worrying does?
• Let's all voice our opinion--what will it take for us to 'calm down'?? and enjoy our lives...???

in 1976 (do you remember celebrating the Bicentennial) when I first worked in public schools i would come home, sit on the porch with my two neighbors--Linda and Kitty. We would sit on the porch till supper time, watch their children play, sometimes drink a daiquiri, and talk and laugh...where have those days gone?
When were you last at that stage?
Of relaxing with friends regularly?
Of really feeling relaxed?

Here we go again... BLOG..fun!

Who would have thought it would be okay to tell the world what you are thinking?

or that any one would have any interest --we will see how this

all plays out--and if I have the fortitude to continue writing...

More questions...and some answers I have been reading about turning 60 on the Internet--what does it mean to me? I have bragged that I was turning 60--I don't think I look 60 (even tho I might), and I know I don't think 60 (whatever that means)...I don't really know my age--is it chronological? is body driven? is it society driven? I only know that I can't put my age into words but I can say that I still love life and I really like to laugh and explore new things and listen to my friends talk about 'crazy' stuff.

I don't like to get so serious about the things people get so uptight about--politics--oh, God, please don't make me listen to anyone talk politics--so tired of it!

• 
  what is your level of Faith and what is your faith in? Do you attend a house of worship regularly? Are you a Christian, a Jew, a Buddhist, a Muslim? What's your story? Do you believe you need a community of faith or that as an individual you can meditate or pray as you wish? Or like my former husband who thought God was speaking to him--when in reality it was him agreeing with himself about his thoughts...
  

I am an Episcopalian and am quite liberal. Although, I believe in Jesus (you know--the BIG THREE-Father, Son and Holy Spirit) it is not a prerequisite for my friends to believe as I do. I'm of the idea that God accepts us for who we are, meaning straight, gay, a believer or not believer and that He is always calling us to HIM....remember years ago the sign with the pciture of the urchin --God don't make no junk....that's how I roll. Read the book 'The Great Divorce' by C.S. Lewis

• I heard on the radio the other day that younger people do not know what WASP means--seems that was a term heard many times in earlier years...never anymore. I always thought it meant narrow minded people-- what did/do you think? One BIG group thinking the same thoughts.
  
• What kind of funeral do I want--definitely cremation...cheaper (so... I'm thrifty)...and my Mother's service was wonderfully uplifting! but where will the ashes go?--a little here a little there (Mobile Bay, New York, Mobile Public Library?)--who will visit my 'grave' site if there is one--I never go Pinecrest where my Father is buried --although I do go to Trinity Episcopal and visit my Mother's burial (ashes) site...it's a garden..I like it... my great nephew (Oslin--do you think he will ever have a classmate with his same name?) goes to Trinity for Mom's Day Out..so I'm right there...Many of my Mother's family is buried in Magnolia Cemetery and her parents at Pinecrest--I guess my grandfather thought real estate was real estate...


• Yes, oil is in Mobile Bay--Tony saw Dolphins yesterday morning..pretty close in--at the end of the wharf next door. that's kinda scary because we don't usually see them until much later in the summer. Could it be the extreme heat or is it the OIL? What in the world is going to happen to us and our "Bay" Way of life??? What is the toll??? on the wildlife? the sealife?? yes, the Gulf is giganitic but what about the bays and canals and beaches??? AND HURRICANE SEASON??? Will you let me come and stay with you? Do you have a generator??? I have 2 dogs--so watch what you say>>>>
• Can you beleive how much our way of life has chagned in the last 60 years...in the evenings we once sat on our screened front porches to escape the heat. Or we took a walk around the neighborhood to pass the time. We played in the street with our neighbors till dark or sometimes --a while after dark.
• The Blacks I knew were the guys that my older sister (the Tomboy) played baseball with at Hannon Park (until she was about 12) the Seller's maid (Cora?) and the postman (Gus) and Peter who worked for my Daddy, our maid, Mary and later Ella--and then by high school we were going to a slightly intergrated school--the bad times had passed ('62?) and would come again in the early 70s....
• There were no "little leagues' for girls 'back in the day'...so my sister's ball skills were used to teach us--Later we found out that girls were playing ball but of course our Mother would never have let us do anything like that...who were those people? Not that we were lady-like--it just wasn't done. My poor mother was so bound by the teachings of your youth...
• What are your questions???

Welcome to 60 Turning 60

Hello All.

Welcome to the first edition of the 60 Turning 60 Blog.

I have been writing about The Class of 1968 for more than 2 years--

now I'm going public

We're Baby Boomers and we're nearing Social Security age...

Some of the Questions I will -hopefully-work at answering are..

• What's going on with us?
• What do we believe?
• What have we learned from our 60 years on this EARTH?
• Are we kind and thoughtful or snitty and mean?
• What are our personal charities?
• Have we thought of what we want in our obituaries?
• What is our legacy? Our Career? Our Children? Our Life?
• Where will we retire? To Gulf Shores. Where we live now? To a retirement/assisted living? Where are we headed?
• Would be like to travel the country or the world?